march 9

[JASON RUSSEL BARKER]

Time:

7:31 PM
Date: March 9^th 2009

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i hate people. i've said that more than once before and i'll probably keep on saying that forever into the future no matter what anyone says. i just cant stand them! i try to tell this to my therapist, but she tells me and i quote that "you're being brash, jason not everyone is that bad!". well yes the fucking are! i've been told that i should just push those thoughts away but i can't! trust me, i have tried. and i've tried and i've tried, and no matter how hard i continute to try its not going to work. i also tell my therapist that but she says that's not true that i'm not trying hard enough. well excuse fucking me lady you have no idea how the fuck i get treated around this fucking shit hole.

no, i'm not trying be a big fucking baby i'm trying to get my feelings out because im sick of keeping them fucking bottled down. becaus ethat doesn't work either. there isn't an approch that is 100% fool proof and i hate it! is it really so fucking much to ask to be happy? to you know have a bit of human fucking conversation with someone other than my brother or my fiance every now and again?! apparently to you fuckos it is.

maybe you dont even realize what you say is hurting me (though i'm pretty sure you do.) and maybe because i'm just so fucking crazy i think the whole world is out to get me (i'm pretty sure not though.) but when you have fucking little comments like (AND AGAIN I QUOTE!) "sorry jay, i have company coming over. maybe you'll get lucky and bree will come and talk to you." it kind of makes me want to fucking stab myself in the fucking eyes! as great as it is to talk to bree MAYBE I'D LIKE TO TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE FOR A CHANGE ONCE IN AWHILE?! heaven forbid that's even possible!!!!!! i only spent all fucking morning talking to her and you would like to toss up the conversation just a tad bit but thats waaay too fucking much to ask for! as soon as i set foot in that stupif fucking bullshit chat room SOMETHING THAT WAS MADE FO FUN AND ENTERTAINMENT everyone leaves like i'm infected with the fucking aids or something.

i don't know what ideas you fucko's have managed to drive into your fucking skulls about me but i'm an EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY and I WANT TO HAVE CONVERSATIONS JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. i want to laugh, i want to make jokes, i want to be happy i want to smile! but I guess thats way too fucking much.

and everyone wonders why the fuck im so depressed/angry/upset all the fucking time?! well there you go fuckos. it's because of all the fucking bullshit that you pull over on me because you think it's so fucking hilarious and to you it's the "cool/trendy/in" thing to do.

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Jason Russel Barker
JASON THE IMPALER

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[blockquote][font=georgia][color=AABECA][sup][size=7]ONE[/size][/sup][/color] [size=5][color=303030]NEW COMMENT.[/size][/color][/font]
[blockquote][font=tahoma][color=303030][size=1][color=000000][b]name:[/b][/color] first last
[color=000000][b]comment:[/b][/color] [blockquote]what you wanna say here.[/blockquote][/color][/size][/font][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[OLIVIA JOYCE DARLING]

^ONE NEW COMMENT.

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name: olivia darling
comment:

aw, jason i wanna talk to you! ]:

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[holland]

^ONE NEW COMMENT.

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name: holly cartwright
comment:

i want to talk to you, jay!

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[isabella]

^ONE NEW COMMENT.

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name: isabella
comment:

I'm sincerely sorry that everyone, me included, makes you feel that way. I mean, I don't know if you'll believe it, since it's coming from me, but I am.

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